How to Become the Man You’ve Always Wanted to Be

Most people trying to “change their lives” are just trying to change their behavior. But if you don't change your identity, nothing sticks.

If you see yourself as a man who's always struggled with money, you’ll make decisions—consciously and unconsciously—that keep you in that loop. You could win the lottery, and still find a way to lose it all. Why? Because your actions will never rise above how you see yourself.

I learned you can't outperform your self-identity.

🧠 The Truth About Transformation

Let’s say you're trying to lose weight. You hit the gym a few times, eat clean for a week, then slip back into old habits. Sound familiar?

It’s not because you're weak. It's because you're still identifying as the guy who hates working out, or sees health as a punishment rather than a reward. You're trying to behave like a new man while believing you're the old one.

That conflict creates friction. Friction leads to failure.

If you want real change—freedom, not just progress—you need something deeper.

You need an identity shift.

🕶️ Who Is the Man You’re Becoming?

Let’s talk identity, my Seasoned Brother.

Your identity isn’t just your name, job, or role. It’s the internal story you keep repeating:

• “I’ve never been good with money.”

• “I’m just not the disciplined type.”

• “This is just how I am.”

These narratives are not facts—they’re habits. And the good news? Habits can be broken. Better yet, they can be rewritten.

Here’s a practical exercise to get you started:

✍🏾 The Identity Blueprint

Take 20 minutes. Write a one-page, detailed story about the man you aspire to be. Not just his goals, but how he thinks, feels, and moves through the world.

Ask yourself:

• How does he wake up in the morning?

• What does he say to himself in the mirror?

• How does he handle conflict?

• How does he spend his money, his time, his energy?

• How does he walk into a room?

Write it all. Be vivid. Be bold.

🛠️ Now, Start Being Him

Every morning, recommit.

Ask yourself: “What would that version of me do today?”

Then do it.

It will feel strange at first. Like putting on a suit that’s not within your traditional color scheme. But keep wearing it. Eventually, you'll adjust. Then it’ll feel like second nature.

When your old thoughts creep in—and they will—don’t judge yourself. Just gently realign. Say, “That’s not who I am anymore.” And step right back into your new identity.

With time, repetition, and grace, the old habits will fall off like dead skin. What’s left is the man you were always meant to be.

🚀 Your Call to Action: Step Into Him Today

This isn’t about faking it ‘til you make it. It’s about aligning with the truth of who you’re becoming—until you fully embody it.

You don’t need more motivation.

You need a clear identity.

Then, you need to live like him on purpose.

Start today. Write that page. Read it every morning. Act from it, speak from it, lead from it.

The world is waiting for the man you're becoming.

Don’t keep him waiting any longer.

Grab my free ebook, Breaking Free, Discover Your Purpose, Power and Prosperity in Midlife, to support your transformation.

For weekly tips and insights on improving your midlife experiences professionally and personally, listen to my weekly podcast, Midlife Revolution Unleashed, on your favorite podcast channel.