You Can’t Outrun the Man You Still Believe You Are

I remember watching a brother I deeply respect go from running 5 miles a day…

to running from himself.

He had the gear. The Garmin. The playlist. The willpower.

But he was stuck in a loop.

He wanted freedom, but couldn’t shake the identity of someone who always struggled.

He said, “Man, no matter how hard I try, I just keep finding a way to sabotage myself.”

That hit me.

Because haven’t we all been there?

Reading the books.

Listening to the podcasts.

Changing our schedules.

Even trying therapy or coaching.

But deep down, still waking up with the same damn voice in our head whispering:

"You're not that guy."

Why Mindset Shifts Aren’t Enough

Let’s be real.

Mindset work gets a lot of hype, and it’s important.

But if you don't see yourself differently, your life won’t stay different.

You will never outperform your self-identity.

Let that land.

If you still see yourself as the broke kid, the absentee father, the almost-made-it, or the angry man…

Then, even if opportunity knocks, you might not answer.

Because deep down, you’ll feel like it wasn’t meant for you.

The Identity Trap: A Real-World Example

I coached a man recently—let’s call him Abdel.

Brilliant. Ivy League educated.

But couldn’t seem to build lasting wealth.

Why?

Because his identity was still tied to survival. He grew up in scarcity.

So anytime money came in, he found a way to spend or “rescue” someone with it.

It wasn’t until he did the hard work of redefining who he is—

not just what he wants—

That things shifted.

He began identifying as a steward, not a savior.

A builder, not just a consumer.

A man of vision, not just someone reacting to life.

Define the Man You’re Becoming

Here’s your challenge, Brother:

Take one hour.

Yes—block it off like a business meeting with your future.

Write a detailed, one-page description of the man you’re becoming.

Not just what he has, but how he moves.

• How does he talk to himself when he fails?

• What does he do with fear?

• How does he treat his body, his money, his woman, his children, his purpose?

Be honest. Be bold. Be detailed.

This identity blueprint will become your daily mirror and your new compass.

Embody the New You—Every Damn Day

Now don’t just write it—live it.

Wake up tomorrow and choose to think, speak, and move like that man.

Even if it feels fake at first.

That discomfort?

It’s the old you fighting for survival. Let him go.

And when you slip—and you will—

pause.

Breathe.

Realign.

Because each small act that honors your new identity…

is one less brick in the prison of your past.

Final Word

This ain’t magic.

This is discipline, intention, and identity reengineering.

You’re not just here to “do better.”

You’re here to become different.

So, what story are you done living?

And who are you finally ready to become?

👊🏾 Your Call to Action:

📍 Comment below: What’s ONE word that defines the man you’re becoming?

📝 Then go write your new identity on paper. Today.

🚀 And if you’re ready to build a life that finally matches your potential, DM me “IDENTITY” and let’s talk about what coaching might look like.

See you at the top!

Coach Wayne, The VIP Coach

Helping Black men 40+ regain control, clarity, and confidence personally and professionally.

For weekly tips and insights on improving your midlife experiences professionally and personally, listen to my weekly podcast, Midlife Revolution Unleashed, on your favorite podcast channel.